If Santa Answered his mail honestly

So i got some more chain mail spam crap from my unwanted wannabe step-mom... but its cute... even if shes not. Still workin on that update. this was faster.

ps... got super mario galaxy and Nights today.... FUCKIN AWSUM!! rehash mario as many times as you want nintendo, it still rock!


If Santa Answered His Mail Honestly.....


Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a
gud boy all yeer.
Yer Friend,
Billy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in
lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn
to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the
space ranger. At least HE can spell.
Santa

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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I
ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't
they?
Santa

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Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas,
I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together.
Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's b**ging the babysitter like a screen
door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that
up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his a**
constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me
send you some Legos instead.
Santa

****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I.
Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're
gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie.
Santa

****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I
left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the sh*ts and carrots make the deer fart
in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do
me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
Santa

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Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you
busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in
Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget
p**no films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and
squeezing the a**es of cocktail waitresses while
losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to
know.
Santa

****************************************************
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know
when we're awake, like in the song? Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever
you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa

****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please,
please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?
Love,
Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging s**t may work with your folks, but
that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a
sweater again.
Santa

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Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get
into our home?
Love,
Marky

Dear Mark,
First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why
you're getting your a** whipped at school. Second, you
don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent
apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just
like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams,
Santa